On Christmas Eve, television personality Ai Iijima was found dead in her Shibuya condominium.  Known for moving into TV after starting her career as an adult video starlet, Iijima also wrote and autobiographical novel, Platonic Sex, which was turned into a successful movie and TV series.  Iijima had complained of ill health due to kidney disease since 2006, when she began reducing her public presence and retired from television.  She was 36.

Not knowing much about her aside from her name, I took little notice of the news until arriving at a Christmas party, where the hostess said she’d taken the news rather hard.  Instead of dredging up an amalgam of others’ thoughts on the passing of an icon, I present you with Emiko’s thoughts on the death of Ai Iijima.

Emiko put her hands to her face, shocked, when she heard the news.

“This was much more shocking to me than [former Farm Minister] Matsuoka’s suicide,” she said.

Why?

“I was surprised when she retired from TV.  She was making a huge, I mean huge amount of money, as a representative of her generation.  She didn’t hide.  I mean, she didn’t hide many things, which is unusual.  I think a lot of people didn’t care about or had forgotten her past in the AV industry.

“It was almost like we didn’t care what she did in her past, we just liked her personality.  We didn’t care what she did in the past.  From the female point of view, she was honest, very honest.  She was saying what we coudln’t say out loud, so there was a feeling like, ‘Oh, that’s what I wanted to say.’  She was syaing what we couldn’t say, what we wanted to say.

“And that attitude.  The AIDS campaign.  That attitude of saying, ‘Oh, let’s be careful.’  Because she was in the sex industry and she had to be careful about those things.  For me, I wanted to be really supportive about what she was doing and the fact that she became really successful after all she’d done in the wrong way.  We all know that she was really yanki.  You know, people become supportive of people who overcome those things.  She was representative of our genertation - going through all that shit.  I want her to finally get happiness after going through all that shit.

“I think she really got power, people wanted to support her after all that shit, and I really wanted to support her [for the same reason].  I don’t want to believe that she comitted suicide; I want to believe that it was a disease.  Somebody who’s really cheerful. . . at least that’s what we got from the TV screen.  At least, I don’t want to doubt what I see.  I want to believe that what I see is real.”

When asked if Iijima’s death changes anything, Emiko says, “Umm. . . No, nothing.  That’s how it works.  Nothing changes.  She just didn’t have as much influence on me as my Mom.  That’s what I mean when I say nothing changes.  I think I’m just old enough to see her as a person on TV, as my generation.  I’m 39, she was 36.

“After I saw the news, some papers were saying that she might have committed suicide because she was lonely.  It was more shocking that she committed suicide.  But loneliness is. . . I understand that feeling, but I can’t understand a loneliness that leads to death.   I can’t imagine being in a situation that leads you to thinking that to die is better than to live.”

Do you think women of your generation understand that?

“Maybe.  Maybe there’s an air pocket, which is suddenly empty, which suddenly appears around you.

“She became popular and famous because she started her career as a porn star.  If she hadn’t been a porn star, she wouldn’t have had an opportunity to become a star on TV, to talk to the public.  50% is because she was a porn star and 50% is because if she knew she was ill and dying and she wanted to delete her life, to get back to when she started.

“It’s just my opinion, but when I see someone from the AV industry who appears to be really sharp, I tend to think she’s really special.  I thought Iijima was really, really sharp.  Sharp is different from intelligent.  AV actresses just haven’t had the time or interest to develop knowledge, but their instincts are sharp.

“Quick money, big money.  Big payments at once.  That’s why young women go into the AV industry.

“The sex industry, especially in Japan, they want young girls.  Young girls are always the target.  They just don’t have enough experience to say what is important - quick money or the future and what they want to do in the future.

“When I  graduated from high school, most girls wanted to be flight attendants or teachers.  I wanted to be international businesswoman.  Now, the most popular future job for high school girls is cabaret hostess.

“Average or normal (futsuu) is a very fragile word.  Everbody thinks they’re average, but it’s not true.  I think that I’m not average, but I realize that people might think I’m not average.  In university, I could see whom I liked, you make a clique - you can see who you like, who has the same views as you, but as a businessperson, you have to get along with people who have different opinions.  You realize that you’re different from others and even that listening to people with different opinions can be fun.

“My ex-assistant said that she wouldn’t talk to guys from the same university as her.  University life and working life are totally different.

“Iijima will be remembered as an icon of happiness.  She was the first person to appear on a normal TV program with an AV history.  I think there were people who didn’t know her history, but she didn’t hide it, she didn’t deny it.  She just said, ‘Yes, I am here.’”

When asked if she’d want her daughter to look up to Iijima:  “She didn’t give any excuses for what she did.  That’s the good point.  If my daughter looked up to her honesty, I’d like that.

“She would have had the same personality whether she had entered the AV industry or not, but if she hadn’t enetered the porn industry, she wouldn’t have had the chance [to work in TV or screenwriting].”